If I were to say the last five months have been a breeze for me, it would be a flat out lie. I don’t think these last five months have been easy for anyone.
In the past month there have been so many changes in my family, work and relationships that I have felt drained, unmotivated and flat out hopeless. The realization for me that this is a time of growth, a time to understand myself and my world better was a hard one to come to. I wanted to stay in victim mode, I wanted to crawl into a hole and let the whole world move on without me. I know that I can't do that because there are people that rely on me and need me to be and do better, and above all I need that from myself. The hardest part has been realizing I am allowed to feel these feelings and grow through them. These feelings don't have to define me but can be a part of my growth and make me into a better person if I let myself. So let's talk about it. Open the dialogue about growing through what we're going through.
Growth can be painful, hard, scary and nerve inducing. Sometimes you don’t even realize you are growing and it can be even more confusing. Recognizing life’s lesson is a skill that takes time to learn. I want to share a few of the things that have my head spinning that maybe ya'll can relate to and share how you're handling these situations or other situations you may be in and we can help lift one another up and look at how far we've come.
Here's what's going on in my world:
My mom sold my childhood home I grew up in - I was lucky enough to grow up in the same home for my whole life. This home represents my dad to me, he passed away 5 years ago.
I’m struggling to find a balance going back to work, working on my dream, creating content, taking care of my house, my dogs, my husband, and myself. Our lease is up in the next few months and Mike and I are trying to figure out our next move in life, starting a family and what it would look like, and just what we want in our lives.
Quarantine really gave us perspective and clarity on what we want/need and what we don't. Going back to work for both of us has made it hard to see and stay true to those things which is unfortunate. And that's just the tip of the iceberg.
Here is what I'm doing now to try and help myself and pull myself out of the depressive/anxiety ridden mindscape:
- Allowing myself the time to process, reflect, breathe and just be.
- Learning to let myself be where I am and not beat myself up - remembering that I am #NeverNotEnough
- Lots of bubble baths and reading
- Allowing myself to cry (vulnerability is hard for me -it is my biggest fear and showing it makes me feel weak)
- Therapy - LOTS of therapy
- Writing (this blog helps)
- Reading self help books - The Anatomy of Peace is at the top of the list
- Focusing on the positive things in my life (writing 3 gratitudes a day)
- Remembering what I've already overcome in my short 27 years of life and letting myself be proud of that growth, knowing I can grow even more.
So what have you been going through? What helps you cope and learn to grow through it?
Comment below :) This is a safe space. Lets grow through what we're going through together.